The drive it takes to manage your biggest project ever, thinking there is no room for error, is a different level. My task, when a leader reached out through his network for coaching, was to help him lower the stress and find a different way to get it all done.
His boss, his wife, and his team had all been asking him to slow down. He’d do it, kind of, for a day or two.
His idea of slowing down was taking Sunday morning off. Eating dinner with his family when he was in town. But those boundaries were entirely negotiable. If things got busy, he’d cut those things right back out. And things were always busy.
The way he got to lead projects like this was simple: he outworked everyone. He skipped college and went straight to work, completing his degree years later only when it became a career ceiling and he saw the gaps.
His expectation was absolute. No one was ever on-site before him, and no one could stay later. His phone rarely went to voicemail. Emails were promptly answered.
After years of resets, he reached out for coaching.
The first goal we co-created after a couple of sessions: 2 hours per day with no work.
Then, he set a goal for a 30-day streak. We reached the halfway mark and he was on track. No questions, no cracks in the determination. Then came the 30-day check-in.
He gave himself a C+. One day he’d only been able to accomplish 1.25 hours of down-time, and another day was under an hour. It was clear progress, but he was highly disappointed.
Every story is different. That’s what I love about coaching. The challenge is to meet a person like this exactly where they are and help them shift their reality.
It happens when you find the real friction. As he told me:
"My wife and boss would tell me to slow down, and then 15 minutes later ask me for something. Coaching provides a space to hold myself accountable. I know Andy won’t give me the silent treatment or fire me. I’ve finally seen what they are trying to say to me from a different perspective."
There are more steps and more goals ahead to get him to a place where he can truly enjoy his quiet time, his family, and take care of himself. But that's why he gave himself that self-critical C+. He has never settled. I'll support him, no matter how this goes.
Written by Andy Culbertson from 314Coach.com in St. Louis, Missouri. NBC-HWC and Anthropedia Coach with 25+ Years of Business Ownership Experience and 2,000+ Performance & Well-Being Sessions Helping Professionals Navigate Change with Support, Strategy, and Vision to Get Through Whatever Is Going On.
